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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

DOUBLE TROUBLE BUBBLE BOY!

I expected it, didn’t you? Instead of "Hanging Chads", this time we got the instantly infamous “Double Bubbles" on the 2008 L.A. County primary ballot. Independent voters were required to ask for a Democratic ballot, and then required to check a little BUBBLE at the top of that ballot to confirm they wanted to vote in the Democratic primary. What is this, government by Larry David?


*
George; The Bubble Boy was trying to kill me. Susan, tell him.


Susan; It’s a long story.

Donald: Hey, Seinfeld, thanks for
showing up. You know your
little friend here tried to kill
me.
George; Oh, you lying little snot. And
he’s a cheater. Aren’t ya’, you
little twerp?

Donald; Moors.

George; Moops!

Man #1; There’s the guy that tried to kill the Bubble Boy. Get him!
*
If you have ever been in California for an election, and I covered politics there for thirty years, you could sense it coming. It was stupid, redundant to the point of absurdity and typical “LA bureaucrat think”. Republicans and Democrats from almost anywhere else in the nation would never have designed a ballot this way, following the theory that if the voters asked for a Democratic ballot they must want to vote Democratic, and probably did not want their hand held while crossing the street, either. But the LA tradition of protecting voters from themselves is hard to shake, in budget matters as well as elections. And when the first complaints came through some genius activists from out of town went to Rocky Delgadillio, the city attorney, for help, which was like asking Wiley Coyote for help in catching the Road Runner. The obvious is always too simple for him.
*
California voters get a ton of non-partisan info before every election, carefully edited and informative, as the County Registrar, Dean Logan, explained to the out of town press corps. “The manner in which cross over voting was presented in Los Angeles County was no different than that of the last three statewide primary elections (2002, 2004 and 2006). The voter instructions provided in the sample ballot booklets, which were mailed to all voters in the County, highlighted the steps to be taken by nonpartisan voters when voting a cross over ballot. Likewise, poll worker training materials and the actual vote recorder page instructions were consistent with past practice.” Is it a fool proof method? Of course not; fools are much more inventive than you can possibly imagine. That’s what makes them so prolific. But at some point people who wish to take part in the democratic (small d) process have to take responsibility for themselves, to actually read the ballot in their hands, otherwise the jig is up and Vlad “The Polonium inhaler” Putin is the template for the 21st century man.
*
Besides, when 20 people in Chicago were convinced that their ballots were being marked with invisible ink, what hope is there for democracy in this world? We should just name Larry David dictator and everybody go home. But there is a more positive item here, buried in the election results and not mentioned by any of the pundits, except for me.
*
In the California Democratic primary, John Edwards got 163,000 votes, which means he would have come in third in the Republican primary! And anytime a dropped out Democrat can come in third in the Republican primary, it does not bode well for the Repubs, which means it bodes very well for the entire nation!
*
Oh, and Ralph “The Mouth” Nader got just under 2,000 votes. What a bunch of Moops.
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