The Miss USA pageant was created in 1950 to fill the desperate need created by not enough women wearing swimsuits and high heels in public. Specifically, the problem was neo-feminist Miss America, Miss Yolande Bethbeze, who refused to pose in a bathing suit after winning the Miss America pageant that year.
In response to this “Women have brains and are not simply sex objects” foolishness, Miss USA contestants would not be required to display a talent of any kind, but instead to wear swimsuits as often as possible, preferably while also wearing high heels, as impractical a wardrobe combination as one can imagine. High heels on the beach are an impossibility. And bathing suits in a dining room are an invitation for spillage and burns.
It was thus inevitable that billionaire pseudo-personality and creepy old toupee-head Donald Trump would buy the pageant in 1996. What better property could a spooky old man buy than a spooky old anaronicstic beauty pageant? A decade later, this would make 17-year old Dallas teenager Tara Conner, The Donald’s problem.
Tara Connor won the Miss USA tiara on April 21, 2006. By December the grinding schedule of personal appearances and swimsuit and high heel wearing, combined with Tara’s approaching 18th birthday, drove her to 'partieee'.
On December 14th, 2006, that bastion of public morality on the Hudson, The New York Daily News, published a photo of an obviously plastered Tara Connor swapping spit with Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair. There were also reports that Tara had been sneaking men up to her apartment in the Trump Tower, specifically Katie’s boyfriend. This raised the question of Tara’s virginity, and the underage Katie’s too. The idea that teenagers, with their young firm bodies and raging hormones might be stupid enough to drink alcohol and be sexually adventurous at the same time was so unprecedented that Mr. Trump felt his personal tower had been belittled.
Miss Connor had her tiara publicly removed (in public) and was forced to tearfully enter rehab, all the while making a public apology for endangering Mr. Trump’s investment in her. And she was prohibited from ever again appearing mostly naked in public while representing Donald Trump’s Tower. There were tears and drama and cleansing of the soul and forgiveness from the father confessor, The Donald.
Clearly, Miss USA might look like a high priced hooker, but professionally she was to remain a virgin.
She was Kristen Dalton of North Carolina and she was at the time the privately owned and privately paid public Vestal Virgin of Mr. Donald Trump. That's you, Donald. You just insulted your own product. The Toupee went on to say, “We went back and added up the scores, and she (Carrie Prejean) would not have won anyway.” Does that remark seem a little “catty” to you? Cause it sure does to me. But then, who won the Miss USA title the year before? Who won it this year? You remember the controversy, not the winner. And it turns out, that is The Donald's real product.
It seems to me that somewhere history has taken an unexpected turn, at least in America. It is a turn which would have amused Aphrodite and maybe even Queen Victoria, too. Somehow it seems that where we were talking about women, looking at women as sex objects and Madonnas or both, we are suddenly talking about gay men. And does that mean that discussing the sexual definition of straight men and women can not be that far beyond? But that should not be a surprise. We have been talking about tramps and Queens, and men fit into those categories too, one way or another, at least as often as women do. The roles they are a-changing, but they are still just roles, not the totality of who we are.
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