I greet you on this The Ides of March –
the political holiday commemorating that day, 2,056 years ago when
the aristocrats in the Roman Senate imposed terminal term limits on
Julius Caesar. On this ominous day each year some deserving political
hack has earned the “Knife-in-the-Back” plaque for his or her
outstanding professional ineptitude and moral arrogance over the
preceding 12 months. The dishonor descends upon the chosen not
because of mere stupidity, nor even for horribly misjudging the
public will. Those are common failings for those who dare to strut
their egos upon the public stage. The level of political putz
required to earn this mantel of disgrace, must show a consistent
inconsistency, and venal dependability to repeat the same mistake so
often as to indicate a total lack of self awareness, a disregard for
their fellow human beings and a bent toward political suicide And
this as an added treat, year's winner is a legacy from a previous winner
The winner in 2008 was New York
Democratic Governor Elliot (Ho-No!) Spritzer, who lost his moral war
against corruption on Wall Street when he left his morals at the
Emperor's Club Escort Service web site. In 2009 Illinois Democratic
Governor Rod (The Sleaze) Blagoevich secured the dishonor by being
convicted of plotting crimes on telephone lines he himself had
alleged were wire tapped. They actually were, and last Ides of March
he reported to the Federal Correctional Institution in Englewood,
Colorado to begin serving his 14 year sentence. In 2010 Kentucky
Republican Senator Jim (Bean-Ball) Bunning was a stand out winner for
his petty, mean-spirited filibuster holding up unemployment benefits
for tens of thousands of his own constituents, just so he could thumb his
nose at his own party. In 2011 Wisconsin Republican Governor Scott
(Union Killer) Walker earned the “Laurel and Dagger” award after
his artificial budget crises drove his state into civil war and
himself into a recall election battle, without creating any of the
promised benefits. And last year, 2012, the winner was the morally
mailable munchkin mutineer, the militant nihilist, the Big Giant
Head from Dunwoody, Georgia, Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich.
This year the tortured Republican
nominating process thrust forward in their turn several
undistinguished demagogues who appalled the voters, from the
predictably bizarre Michelle Bachmann to the numbingly idiotic
Governor Rick Perry and the adolescent racist Donald Trump, to the
blatantly hypocritical pseudo-Christian Rick Santorum. The “winner”
of this funeral procession was, of course , the candidate who could
not seem to pick a personality, Mitt “47%” Romney. All things
considered Mitt was the early leader in this year's Ides
sweepstakes.
I also gave serious consideration to
Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove, whose reality melt down on election
night was a joy to watch, whatever your party affiliation. Never
have the American people been treated to such a display of honesty
from a Bush era official. It wasn't much of a pay back for the Iraq
War debacle, but it was the closest to just deserts the
American people are ever going to get from the entitled class of
neoconservative idiots. But even George Bush's “Boy Genius” was
superseded in his lunacy by the post election antics of our winner,
that egregious ego maniac of the end game, the architect of
Republican anarchy, the only conservative politician who could make
you forget for a few days about “Legitimate” and “God inspired”
rape, the rich man's sycophantic parasite, the bumbling buffoon of
ineptitude, our winner for this year Ides of March for 2013, John
Andrew Boehner.
According to his congressional web
site, this “regular guy with a regular job” has represented the
8th district of Ohio since 1991 - a mixed rural and
suburban district tucked up against the Indiana border so safe that
since its creation in 1823, it has been represented only 14 times by
men who were not Republicans, a party which did not even exists for
the first 30 years the district did.
Boehner built his reputation on
other people's scandals. In his first election, he defeated the
incumbent Republican Buz Lukens, who admitted having sex with a sixteen year old. During his first term,
Boehner was a member of the “Gang of Seven” who “uncovered”
the House Banking Scandal. During his second term he helped Newt
Gingrich write the famous “Contract With America” which propelled
the party to control of the House in 1994. His reward in January of
'95 was to be named Chairman of the Republican Conference, low man in
the gang of four, behind Speaker Gingrich, Majority Leader Dick Armey
and Whip Tom DeLay. In 1995 Boehner was assigned to hand out campaign
contributions for the Tobacco Lobby. He later admitted to PBS, “They
asked me to give out a half dozen checks quickly....and I complied.
And I did it on the House floor, which I regret..”
In the summer of 1997 John Boehner
played a supporting role in a coup to oust his mentor Gingrich. But when Dick
Armey switched sides, Gingrich stayed. Then, after Republicans lost
five seats in the 1998 election, Boehner lost his chairmanship, and
Gingrich resigned as speaker. After a bruising game of musical
chairs, Dennis Hassert was elected speaker, as front man for the
uncompromising “too nuclear” Majority Leader Tom Delay.
Evidently, after the coup attempt, Delay did not trust Boehner, who
is famous for crying in public, in that public role.
However, scandal once again came to
Boehner's rescue. Late in 2005 Speaker Delay was indicted for money
laundering. Hassert' stepped down the following January, and
propelled by his close ties with lobbyists, Boehner was the surprise
upset victor as the now minority leadership, winning by just 13
votes. His pledge was, predictably, scandal oriented, in this case
the elimination of “earmarks”, funding for specific projects,
usually slipped into unrelated bills. In attempting to explain
Boehner's unexpected election, the San Francisco Chronicle noted,
“Boehner is famous for the lavish parties he throws, including an
annual ‘Boehner Beach Party’ fundraiser. At the GOP’s 2004
convention in New York, Boehner hosted a party that raged all four
nights of the convention at Tunnel, a West Side nightclub.” He was
another genial “hail fellow, well met” like Hassert.
The problem is, earmarks were the way
committee chairs maintained party discipline. And once Republicans
gained power without it, under Speaker Boehner, the 112th
Congress achieved a stunning level of non-achievement. Even the
ultra-conservative Washington Times noticed, pointing out that under
Boehner's watch the House “enacted the fewest laws, considered the
fewest bills”, passing just 162 - 20 % of which were meaningless,
such as renaming Federal buildings. “But” the Times added, “it
held the third most floor votes, at 1,602”, such as the 33 votes to
repeal the Affordable Care Act. None of these repeals ever stood a chance of passing the Senate and were worse than meaningless because, as Washington Post columnist
Dana Milbank pointed out, “they have voted to replace the
Affordable Care Act exactly … never.”
It was Boehner's House which in 2011
refused to approve an appropriations bill to pay the Federal debt. As
Marie Burns wrote on RealityChex.com, “Boehner walked away from a
“Grand Bargain” he had been negotiating with President Obama.”
This debacle caused Standard and Poor to downgraded the nation's
credit rating for the first time in our history, because “the
effectiveness, stability, and predictability of American policy
making and political institutions have weakened..Wrote Ms Burns,
“..the cost to taxpayers...was about $1.3 billion” in higher
interest rates.
Two of the most respected and
independent scholars of the process were forced to concede, “We
have been studying Washington politics and Congress for more than 40
years, and never have we seen them this dysfunctional.” Former
conservative Republican Congressman, Joe Scarborough, noted on his
morning cable show that “...so many Republicans tell me this is a
guy that is not the hardest worker in the world. After 5 o’clock, 6
o’clock at night, he is disengaged at best. You can see him around
town…you can see him at bars.” And Politico reported, “One of
(Boehner's) GOP colleagues noted that Boehner cries more often later
in the day.”
It was this dysfunctional leader John
Boehner, who faced the dawn on Wednesday, November 7, 2012, after
Barack Obama had been re-elected to a second term by 51% of the vote,
running on the core issue of increasing taxes on the wealthiest
Americans. That night Boehner insisted the “higher taxes are not
the answer”, to a skeptical ABC anchor, Diane Sawyer. Later that
month in a “op-ed” in the “Cincinnati Enquirer”, Boehner now
insisted the Affordable Care Act must remain “on the table” for
cuts. Jim Kessler, senior VP for what Reuters described as a
centrist think-tank said the statement was “...a complete
non-starter and a clumsy starting point for negotiations.”
What followed should have been
predictable. The Washington Post's David Fahrenthold and Feliciz
Sonmez encapsulated the dreary details. “In April 2011, Boehner
struck a deal to avert a government shutdown. He lost 59 Republican
votes. In August 2011, he cut a deal to avert the debt-ceiling
crisis. That time he lost 66 Republicans. In February, he agreed to a
compromise that kept payroll taxes from rising. That time there were
91 defections. This month, (December 2012) Boehner sought to
engineer a show of force....a vote on ‘Plan B,’...But
conservatives revolted...‘Plan B; became an unintended show of
weakness instead.”
Explained Marie Burns, “When the
going got rough in December 2012 – arguably, before the going got
rough – John Boehner walked away again. After throwing his hands up
and leaving Mitch McConnell to work out a compromise with Democrats,
Boehner decided to make compromise harder by sending the House home
and threatening not to call them back...unless (a Senate compromise)
was one that a majority of Republicans would support...It was not
until the last hours of January 1 – the last full day the 112th
Congress was in session – that Boehner finally relented and allowed
(Democratic minority leader Nancy) Pelosi to push through the
tax-and-spending bill. Although Democrats did not like the bill,
either, Pelosi got a 172-16 vote from her caucus. On the Republican
side, the vote was 151-85 against the bill. Boehner’s own
lieutenants, Eric Cantor and Kevin McCarthy – the guys who were
supposed to whip the bill – voted against it..”
Somehow, Boehner found a way to make it worse. Continued Burns, “Although both
Boehner and Cantor had repeatedly promised a long-delayed vote on
relief for victims of Hurricane Sandy, Boehner decided at the last
minute on January 1 to cancel the vote on the storm relief bill and
adjourn the 112th Congress forever, according to Republican Peter
King of New York, who was furious.” Boehner's House would not
approve hurricane relief for another two weeks, and then 180
Republicans still voted against helping their fellow American in a crisis.
Speaker John Boehner is living proof
that the ability to see the fault in leaders, is not always
accompanied by the ability to do better. Speaker Boehner's leadership
played a major role in driving Congress's approval ratings to a
record low, and reducing America's credit rating, which
increased the national debt. As Democratic Rep. Jim Cooper from
Tennessee has observed, “America’s problems have rarely looked so
large, and Congress has rarely looked so small.” And since that debacle, Boehner continues to be invisible in searching for a way to deal with America's economic problems. And yet, he continues to collect a Federal salary.
As Mark Twin observed, “All
congresses and parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a
compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity,”
Twain could have been writing about this year's winner of the
un-coveted “Ides of March Knife in the Back”, plaque, The Boner,
Old Blue Eyes, the Crier of the House, the Tan Man, the putter putz
in chief, The babble Speaker of the House John Andrew Boehner. And here's good news - he probably has at least two more years in job.
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