NEVER SAY DIE - SAY DAMN

  

There are two versions of how James "Farmer Jim" Ferguson passed the Texas state bar exam in 1897.  In the first story, the chairman of bar exam committee was an old family friend. In the second version Jim bought a bottle of whiskey for the man who actually administered the test.  One or both could have been true, since Ferguson told both versions for the rest of his life. 

Two years after becoming a lawyer, the 28 year old married Miriam Wallace (above). Considering the couple's subsequent behavior, the New Year's Eve nuptials were obviously timed for tax purposes.

How he became Governor of Texas in 1914 is another disputed tale. In what I call the “Virgin Mary” version, “Farmer Jim” (above) rejected nomination by the anti-prohibition party, but all the other candidates withdrew, thrusting greatness upon him. The only problem is that Ferguson had been a political manager for ten years, and had even directed the election campaign of the previous Governor. All things considered, I don't think he was entitled to wear white to this wedding.

In his day job he was a successful banker, even though it was the farmers who elected him. “Farmer Jim” had “considerable native ability and...a captivating personality. As a political speaker he had few equals.” And his election, well funded by the liquor industry, was just part of the 1914 anti-prohibition backlash. 

The laws he introduced to limit farm land rents were declared unconstitutional, but in politics its usually the thought that counts. Not unexpectedly, he did not achieve much in his first two year term. Being Governor of Texas is a little like being a “fluffer” in a porn movie. In 1916 James was elected to a second term by a comfortable 60,000 vote margin. But then rumors began to emerge he had been using state funds to buy personal groceries. Suddenly Jim was in trouble.

His instincts were to attack. So he began to boast that he was no "city slicker" nor a "college dude", and had not "suffered the damages" of a college education,  And since the professors at the University of Texas were close at hand, and easy targets, he described them as taking three years to learn "You couldn't grow wool on an armadillo." He described graduates as returning from 3 years of in Austin  with just "a mandolin and liver damage".  

Jim Ferguson demanded that the University fire the "lazy and corrupt history Professor Eugene Campbell Barker (above).  Barker had just written a biography of Texas patriot Stephan Austin, and Jim found a number of the books revelations insulting. When UT President Robert Vinson asked for evidence of Barker's frauds, Governor Jim” feigned outrage. “I don't have to give any reasons, I am governor of the State of Texas!” When that response was met with laughter, Ferguson vetoed the Universities next budget.  

At the same time Farmer Jim announced a five member search committee, which he chaired, had chosen to build a new campus for the Texas Agricultural and Mechanical college in Abilene, instead of in Austin.. However, Speaker of the Texas House, Franklin Oliver Fuller, who was a prohibitionist  and also a committee member, then signed an affidavit that he had not voted to move the new school to Abilene.

And when Lt. Governor William Pettus Hobby (above) submitted a similar affidavit, Fuller charged the governor was moving the school to Abilene in exchange for a bribe from the east Texas businessmen. 

Ferguson then submitted his own affidavit insisting he had not voted for Abilene either - meaning that Abilene had won the new campus despite no one who was willing to admit having voted for it. 

On 23 July, 1917, Speaker Fuller (above) called for a special session of the Texas legislature, to consider impeaching the Governor for trying to fix the election to choose the universities' new campus,

Now, only the Governor could call a special session in the state house in Austin (above), and Fuller's move would have come to nothing had Governor Ferguson not been indicted shortly thereafter by a Travis County grand jury for embezzlement of pubic funds. Jim Ferguson had no trouble making the $13,000 bail, but he was now desperate to change the subject. 

First the Governor (above) announced his re-election campaign for a third term, and then he called for a special session of the state legislature to reconsider a budget for the University of Texas. The legislature did meet that August, but they spent all their time removing Governor Ferguson from office.

Ferguson went down insisting his impeachment by this “kangaroo Court” was unconstitutional because he had not called the legislature for that purpose. Nobody in Austin (above) seemed to care. 

Seeking to avoid the worst, “Farmer Jim” resigned from office the day before the final vote. Again, nobody seemed to care. The State Senate voted 25 to 3 to toss him out of office, and added the proviso that James Ferguson was henceforth bared from holding any elective office in the state of Texas. In 1918 he tried again for the governorship, but was defeated in the primary by Acting Governor Hobby. And in 1922, when the state Supreme Court affirmed the lifetime bans, it seemed his criminal career....ah, political career, had been cut short.

But “Farmer Jim” (above)  followed a motto from a 1922 newspaper poem. “Never say “die”—say “damn.” In short, anybody who thought that James Ferguson was finished, did not truly know James “Farmer Jim” Ferguson. Or his wife, Miriam

On the 1924 campaign trail she became “Ma”, and she hated that name. But it worked so well as in the slogan - “Me for Ma, and I Ain't Got a Durned Thing Against Pa” - that it stuck. She began every stump speech by assuring voters that with her they would get “two governors for the price of one”, and then she would introduce her husband, one time Governor but now James “Pa” Ferguson.  

Ma and Pa won the election with 57% of the vote. When they pulled up in front of the Governor's mansion in Austin, Miriam crowed, “We departed in disgrace; we now return in glory.”

The one thing Miriam did not say, during her tenure was “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the children of Texas.” Although this was  often attributed to Miriam, the quote goes back to at least 1881. 

But in her January 1925 state-of-the-state address to the legislature, “Ma” Ferguson did point out Texas' prisons were so overcrowded, she had to decided to “adopt a most liberal policy in the matter of pardons.” She then proceeded to hand out, on average, 100 pardons a month. 

Some were granted even before the convicted prisoner had reached the prison. The joke around Austin was that a visitor met Governor Ferguson at the Capital's front door. As he stepped aside to let the lady enter first, he said, “Pardon me.” To which Miriam replied, “Sure. Come on in. It'll only take a minute or two to do the paperwork.”

But it wasn't only the number that bothered people, it was the methodology. Most of “Ma's”  (above center) pardons were granted on the sole recommendation of “Pa” (above, to her right).

In one interview, it was alleged, a father, begging for a pardon for his son, was exasperated because the ex-governor kept trying to sell him a horse for $5,000. Finally the father demanded, “What on earth would I want with a $5,000 horse.” “Farmer Jim” replied, “Well, I figure your son might ride him home from the penitentiary if you bought him.” Said an insider, “Jim's the governor; Ma signs the papers."

In 1926, Attorney General Dan Moody (above right) decided to run against the corrupt “Ferguson-ism”, and Miriam and James (above left) lost by 150,00 votes in the Democratic primary, which was tantamount to general defeat in the one-party state of Texas. In 1928, for the first time in 12 years, there were no Ferguson on the ballot in Texas. 

In 1930, the couple tried again, but again failed in the primary. Then, in 1932, with the depression ravaging the nation, Texans were desperate enough to give Ferguson-ism another try, and Ma was elected to a another two year term. 

This time there were immediate rumors of kickbacks in the highway department, but nothing could be proven, and in any case, even Texas was not big enough to overcome the world-wide depression. Miriam lost her re-election bid in 1934, and a year later, just to be sure, the voters passed an amendment to the state Constitution which took the power to pardon out of the governor's hands..

James and Miriam (above, center) tried one more time in 1940, for old time's sake. But “Farmer Jim” was getting frail, forgetful as to who he was angry with. His stump speeches were few and not as powerful as they once were. And “Ma” had never been that interested in politics. The dynamic duo went down to ignominious defeat. 

In September of 1944, “One of the most colorful and divisive...figures ever in Texas politics”, James “Farmer Jim” “Pa” Ferguson died of a stroke. Miriam, the second woman governor in United States history, lived for another 17 years, and never said another political thing in her life. She died of heart failure, at the age of 86, in 1961. And other than a modicum of entertainment, it is hard to find any thing  either of them did which made the lives of the average residents any easier. 

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