I am certain the attack was a total surprise in every way possible. In the south the Russians came across the mountains and desserts of Mongolia, a path that seemed impossible because they could not be supplied through that line. It was a trick that the U.S. would repeat in 1989 in Iraq. And as in Iraq the supply problems were over come by airdrops. Soviet parachute troops captured Japanese airfields far behind the front lines and turned them into supply depots for their advancing troops. They were clearly driving toward the city of Changchun, where they would meet the equally successful advance of the Soviet armies from the Far Eastern Front, and together would isolate the entire Japanese Army. And there was nothing the Japanese troops could do to stop them.
For the first time Japanese Army faced a ground campaign against a mechanized army, with troops hardened by four years of vicious warfare with Nazi Germany. If in 1941 the German soldier was the best in the world, by 1945 it might have been the Soviet Soldier. In the invasion of Manchuria there were one and a half million of them pouring into Japanese territory: eighty divisions, five thousand tanks, including 3,700 T-34’s, acknowledged as the greatest tank of the war. The Japanese had never had any tank or gun to counter the T-34. And there were almost 4,000 first line Soviet aircraft filing the skies. The Japanese had just 50 first line fighters. The Soviet offensive was violent and smart and merciless, which perfectly matched the personality of its planner and commander, Marshal Aleksandr Vasilevsky:, the man who had saved Moscow in 1941, and who had actually directed the Stalingrad counter offensive, and who had been planning this invasion since late 1944. He called the operation “August Storm”, and perhaps as a homage to Vaslevsky, American General Schwarzkopf called his 1989 similar operation “Dessert Storm”.
The one million Japanese troops in Manchuria and Korea were not prepared for what hit them. The best troops in the Kwantung Army had already been transferred to the Pacific and Burma meat grinders. They were now either dead or isolated and starving on bypassed islands or jungle outposts. The army now contained a high percentage of new recruits. The units spent their time in drill and chasing guerrillas. The Imperial Staff was convinced that any Russian offensive could not be launched before October. So, they ignored warnings from the commanders in Manchuria. And when the Soviet tanks sliced through the stunned Japanese border entrenchments on the morning of August 9th, there was nothing behind them to slow their advance. In just 24 days the Red Army would capture all of Manchuria, make amphibious landings in northern Korea and capture Sakhalin Island and the Kuril islands, then part of Northern Japan.
On August 9th at about 10:30 in the morning Prime Minister Suzuli told the Six that the Emperor agreed with him; the war must be ended as quickly as possible now that Russia had joined the conflict. The Foreign Minister said he could not accept the American position given in the Potsdam Proclamation, because it would require the removal of the Emperor. (Again, no one in Japan had yet told the Americans that this was the primary sticking point.) Terms to be offered for negotiation were that Japan would disarm herself, accept no occupation, and Japan would conduct any war crimes trials of Japanese soldiers. 
In fact the U.S. had enough plutonium for several bombs. The assembly of nuclear weapons was not yet industrialized but it soon would be. Manhatten Project Commander General Leslie Groves reported to the War Depart that another plutonium bomb would be ready for operations on the 17th or 18th of August and at least seven bombs would be available in time for the invasion of Kyushu, scheduled for September. The plan was to use the bombs against the island's defenders, to "clear the ground" for American combat troops. More than one and a half million American soldiers were poised for that invasion. And even at a casualty rate of one American soldier or marine for two Japanese soldiers, and not considering the likely equal civilian deaths (the casuality rate on Okinawa) an American conquest of the southern half of Kyushu now seemed assured.
That night, the Big Six met again, still tied at three-three. But this time the Emperor in person actually cast his vote. It would be peace. The next day Mr. Max Grassli, charge d’Affaires for Switzerland, sent to James Byrnes, the U.S Secretary of State, the following cable:.
“I have the honor to inform you that the Japanese Minister to Switzerland, upon instructions received from his Government, has requested the Swiss Political Department to advise the Government of the United States of America of the following:
"In obedience to the gracious command of His Majesty the Emperor who, ever anxious to enhance the cause of world peace, desires earnestly to bring about a speedy termination of hostilities with a view to saving mankind from the calamities to be imposed upon them by further continuation of the war…The Japanese Government are ready to accept the terms enumerated in the joint declaration which was issued at Potsdam…with the understanding that the said declaration does not comprise any demand which prejudices the prerogatives of His Majesty as a Sovereign Ruler. The Japanese Government sincerely hope that this understanding is warranted and desire keenly that an explicit indication to that effect will be speedily forthcoming….In transmitting the above message the Japanese Minister added that his Government begs the Government of the United States to forward its answer through the intermediary of Switzerland….”
Please pardon me, but honestly, it was about friggen time. 
- 30 -
To begin with, the Second World War in the Pacific should have ended on Sunday, July 9th, 1944. On that day, at 16:15 hours (4:15pm local time), Admiral Richmond J. Turner declared the island of Saipan secured. The battle was decisive. In defending Saipan the Japanese Imperial Fleet had lost its offensive arm in the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot, where three of their aircraft carriers were sunk and 600 aircraft and pilots were destroyed. The United States lost just 123 planes, and 80 of those experienced crews were rescued. On the ground 30,000 Japanese soldiers and 22,000 civilians had died for the emperor. The United States lost about 2,949 dead, and 10,364 wounded. And they took the island. 
While some Japanese soldiers would hold out in the jungle on Siapan until December of 1945 they were no more than a minor annoyance. Even before Admiral Turner’s pronouncement, Construction Battalions (C.B.’s) had begun turning the island into the world’s largest aircraft carrier, from which, eventually, 2,000 B-29’s would turn Japanese factories and cities into torches. The loss of the their fleet air power and the Marianas, Saipan, Guam and Tinian, meant that the Japanese had lost the war.
The Japanese knew it. Prime Minister Hideki Tojo, the architect of the war with America, and his entire cabinet resigned, nine days after the fall of Saipan. But the war went on. It was clear to every American commander that the Japanese could not withstand the American onslaught, that at Siapan Japan had lost the war.
And reading the diaries and personal letters of Japanese commanders it is clear they also knew the war was lost. But Japanese leaders now held onto the idea that if they could bleed America enough, and kill enough Americans, in just one more big battle, they would win a more favorable peace from the Americans. And it was not a total fantasy. In conquering the Philippines the U.S. suffered 14,000 dead and 48,00 wounded, at Iwo Jima 8,621 dead and 19,189 wounded, and at Okinawa, on the threshold of Japan itself, America lost 12,513 dead and 38,513 wounded.
It is also month when very odd things happen. On August first (“National Raspberry Cream Pie Day”) in 1889 it rained ants in Strasbourg, Germany. On the second of August, in 1900, a baseball game between Chicago and New York ended when the Manager of the New York team led a mob assault on the umpire: and in 1980 the oldest known goldfish in Great Britain, Frederica, finally succumbed to ‘fish flake poisoning’ at the age of forty. August the third on the Roman Catholic calendar is celebrated as St. Lydia’s day, the patron saint of dry cleaners. And on August fifth in 1693 Dom Perignon invented champagne, and in 1983, in a baseball game in Toronto, Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield picked up a base hit ball and threw a peg to the second baseman, that was intercepted by a seagull, striking and killing it. Winfield was charged with cruelty to animals and had to post a $500 bond.
August fifth is at the same time “National Mustard Day”, and “National Waffle Day”, and, in 1914, it is the anniversary of the first electric traffic lights being installed in Cleveland, Ohio. On August sixth in 1890 Mr. William Kimmler had the honor of being the first person ever executed by electric chair on purpose. August seventh is “National Raspberries and Cream Day”, and also the anniversary, in 1888, of a patent being granted for the invention of the revolving door. And besides being the anniversary of the murder of King Wenceslas of Christmas carol fame and Edison’s invention of the mimeograph machine, August eighth is also “Sneak some Zucchini on Your Neighbors Porch Night”
August tenth is “National S’mores Day”, and the eleventh is “National Raspberry Bombe Day”. Every August 13th the world celebrates “International Left Handers Day”. August fourteenth is “National Creamsicle Day”, and St. Werenfrid’s Day. She is the patron saint of vegetable gardens. Also on the fourteenth in 1457 the German Astrologer Faust was arrested for selling the first printed books in Paris. Because all of the books were identical the authorities assumed the printer's apprentice had been Lucifer.
One year later, on the anniversary of Chappie’s fatal injury, in Cleveland, a “Napper” batter hit a line drive that struck Athletics’ second baseman Curt “Johnny” Walker in the head and sent him to the hospital. Oddly enough, the injury did not impede what proved to be Curt’s Walker’s dream season, the best of his career. That year Curt batted .337, with 12 Home Runs, 196 hits and 66 RBI’s. He was also a participant on August 25th , 1922 in the Phillies/ Chicago game, which Chicago won, 23 to 26: it remains the largest combined score ever recorded in major league baseball.
In 1692, in Salem Massachusetts, on August 19th, five women were hanged for witchcraft, and continuing in that same somber spirit, August 21st is now officially recognized as National Spumoni Day. August 23 is the anniversary of the death, in 1926, of Rudolfo Alfonso Raffaello Piero Filiberto Guglielmi, aka Rudolf Valentino, the romantic silent film mega-star. He died at the age of thirty-one probably from an infection caught while undergoing ulcer surgery. His ulcer was brought on because some writer had accused him of being gay, which was an absurd charge, as silly as someone today accusing Tom Cruise of being gay.
On August 24, 1905, during the 18th inning of tied ballgame, a bored Philadelphia outfielder named Jimmy Slagle reached into his back pocket to pull out a plug of chewing tobacco. At that very moment a Chicago batter hit a high drive and instinctively Slagle started running to the ball. But he couldn't get his hand out of his hip pocket. With his left hand stoll firmly jammed behind him Slagle leapt, and made a one handed off balance catch for the out. He then paused to free the tobacco from his pocket and bit off a chew. He threw the ball back to the infield and then he took a bow. Chicago went on to win the game, 2-1 in 20 innings, the longest major league game ever played.
August 25 is National Banana Split Day and August 28 is National Cherry Turnover Day. But far more importantly August 28th is also the date, in 476 A.D., when an army of revolting German mercenaries captured their erstwhile commander, Orestes, and cut his throat. Within days of Orestes’ death his son, the “little emperor", Romulus Augustus, had eagerly abdicated and been pensioned off. And that was the fall of the great empire created by Augustus Caesar some 500 years before. And it all happened in the month of August.
And that was all that was left of the poor guy, a few fingers – that and a couple of feet of lower intestine, but that was all. Which makes the ad copy for the Ranch that much more than ironic. “We know these animals and their qualities and customs by heart… ” (Did I mention that they also ate the guy’s heart? Well, they did.) “…All of our family have been born and grown up in the Kalahari. We have learned to understand the animals and their special skills.” And now these family folks are meeting with folks from the South African Department of Environmental Affairs to “…discuss the fate of the lions.” What fate? The six lions are already living in a cage, probably getting used to free food from humans, so they could then be released on the property so some wealthy Arab, European or American could be driven to their feeding station in the brush, pointed in the right direction, and then proudly display a photo of him or herself kneeling next to their dead fellow carnivore.
Whereas, if the lions were free to do the hunting on their own they would live happily for a couple years, chasing, catching and killing until they got gored or stomped on or got mauled by another lion and then they would slowly starve until they were weak enough or sick enough to be eaten alive by hyenas or dogs or ants or everything else. It’s the nasty reality of “Born Free”. Almost nobody in the wild dies a peaceful death. Peaceful deaths are not natural: Eat or be eaten is in fact, eat and eventually be eaten.
Perhaps we should just treat animals like humans. You know we want to. We dress them in human attire, and feed them tasty human food, and we used to go even further. In 1386, in a market day in the French village of Falaise a young child had her face ripped open by a pig about to be sold for hammocks. In retribution the guilty swine was then dressed for court in a waistcoat, breeches and gloves and brought before a jury. They sentenced the sow to be mangled and maimed like the child and then garroted and hanged, which would have been the same punishment meted out to a human. With the slight difference that after execution this guilty party was roasted and basted. And if you were thinking that people in the Middle Ages were just nuts then you need to here about the little town of Erin, Tennessee, where, on September 13, 1916, the townsfolk were so offended when a 30 year old circus elephant named Mary trampled her handler, that they lynched her. It took a crane and two separate attempts but it was a sufficiently slow and agonizing death that post mortem the locals felt satisfied justice had been done.
At about four-thirty on an afternoon at the end of February this year (high summer in South Africa) 29 year old Samuel Booysen, entered an enclosure at the Aloe Ridge Lodge, Mulders’ Drift, S.A. which contained “eight or nine” lions. And then, while two other caretakers watched, Samuel was disemboweled and eaten by a pair of the lions. This time the lions left behind the spine and skull. The South African Department of Labor was moved to respond to the twin tragedies of Utspan and Mulder’s Drift by reminding workers that “occupational health and safety …remain the responsibility of everyone, including workers …”, which is a short way of saying, “Stuff happens.” These guys could be working for George Bush’s OSHA.
And from news reports it appears that attitude is still warmly appreciated in South Africa, as when investigators determined with visible relief that 58 year old Dirk Brink (love the name) was not killed this year by the lions on his “game farm”, even though his friends had to fire guns to drive off the lions who were feasting on his corpse. Luckily the lions had not eaten Dirk’s head (?) and doctors were able to determine he had actually died of a massive stroke before the lions showed up. To quote a friend, "Everything there indicates that the lions dragged him off under the trees after he had died." Well, that’s a relief.
But what should happen now to the lions, now that they have stumbled on the realization that people are at least as tasty as wart hogs, and we don’t have any tusks. That is not information we want lions sharing with each other. So it has been suggested that the lions on the Krugersdorp be moved, and replaced by another pride, ignorant of human frailty. But Coert Steynberg, described as an expert from South Africa's game industry, has pointed out that lions are not congenial to sharing or swapping territories with other lions. Warns Mr. Coert, "The dominant male (will) kill the less-dominant one, and his offspring, to ensure the propagation of his own pride's gene pool." In other words moving the lions would just mean they would be killed off camera.
It seems the morality of lions is difficult for South Africans to define, even on June 17, 2007 when nine-year-old Tshepo Gaerupe, made the mistake of putting his hand through a gap in an enclosure gate. The lion grabbed the boy’s arm and dragged him inside, where two of the ten lions feasted on the child. Adults, racing to the screams, found only a small piece of the boy’s skull. Upon investigation it was discovered that the owner of the farm, Tommy Van Vuren, who was away on vacation at the time of the attack,(how very George Bush of him) had allowed his permit to keep the lions to lapse. The lions were darted and removed from the farm and. it was decided that all ten lions would then be put down. But Van Vuren filed suit stopping the euthanasia. He also installed stronger fencing and added an electrified fence, and then he applied for a new permit, which was quickly granted. And the courts backed his argument that the seizure of his lions had been unconstitutional. Magnanimously Van Vuren offered to pay the cost of transporting the lions back to his farm, if the authorities would pay the cost of darting them with tranquilizers. He also offered to sell a pair of the lions and give the proceeds to Tshepo Gaerupe’s bereaved mother. There was no word on whether she took the money or threw it back in Van Vuren’s face.
Yup, it is very hard to define justice when mixing men and man eaters. I guess it all goes back to the work of Charles Darwin, so succinctly encapsulated by the Disney Company as “The Circle of Life”: From the day we arrive on the planet, And blinking step into the sun, There’s more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than ever be done,…On the path unwinding, In the Circle, the Circle of Life.” I just think Disney should have included that one verse they left on the cutting room floor. “There’s so much to be savored, before you are eaten too, there’s so much to be consumed, from Zebras on the run to your competitors’ baby, too. In the Circle, the circle of Soylent Green.”
So in desperation I just went to the census page. Google the U.S. Census and I guarantee you will find enough numbers to prove damn near anything. 49.2% of all Americans are male and 50.8% are female and yet 61.3% admit to having worn a dress at lest once in the last two years. 
But then a new problem arose: out of those 76 million Americans nearly 10% were annoying, and that was up from just 8.3% in 1860. By 1950 our population had topped 152 million, and over 20% were annoying, with 6% qualifying as “Very Annoying”. The trend has continued to worsen. In 1990, out of 250 million people total, “Very Annoying” had reached 6% and “Simply Annoying” was approaching 16%, and, in a truly disturbing sign, 3.1% had achieved the new level of “if she doesn’t shut up I’m going to shoot myself!”
In 1900 only 3% of American homes had electricity, and only one third had running water. So the chances of being electrocuted in the shower in 1900 were very low. Today the average American spends ten minutes every day in the shower. Not only was the denizen of 1900 less likely to be electrocuted, but they had an extra 70 minutes every week to waste at the computer. 
According to one new book the average American lives within twenty minutes of a WalMart. For some reason I find that factoid really depressing.
The average American buys 800 gallons of gasoline a year, or did we did when we were complaining about $1.80 a gallon gasoline. At $4.00 a gallon we are putting less gas in our tanks but complaining more. The United States has 116,855 gas stations, or about one gas station for every 2,500 people. Almost a million people work at gas stations, but the average income of a gas station employee is just $16,449.00 a year, or about $12,000 a year less than the “average” American makes. This helps explain why Exxon Mobil made $40 billion in profit last year, and Chevron made $19 Billion. Clearly, when dealing with addictive substances like heroin or oil, the higher up the chain of distribution you are the more money you get to keep and the less often you get arrested.
So, after all of this research, I can now say two things about the average American. First, anybody who plays state lotteries knows nothing about mathematics. And the average American knows nothing about mathematics. Or Chemistry. Or Sociology. Or spelling. And the second thing was said by H.L. Menken almost a century ago: "The truth, to the overwhelming majority of mankind, is indistinguishable from a headache. After trying a few shots of it on his customers, the larval statesman concludes sadly that it must hurt them, and after that he taps a more humane keg, and in a little while the whole audience is singing ‘Glory, glory, hallelujah,’ and when the returns come in the candidate is on his way to the White House." 
