Sunday, January 20, 2008

Huckabee? Suck-a-bee!

I find myself wondering, again, what the hell the pundits are confidently "punditting" about. Senator John McCain won South Carolina by just 3% over Mike Yuckabee. That ain’t much, buddy. And amongst the lunatic fringe The Yuck got 40% of the vote. This year, with people reminded just what damage an idiot in the White House can do, that may not matter. But the body politic suffers from short term memory loss, and in an average election year the lunatic fringe still controls the Republican Party. And Mike the Yuck is their boy. This is not a matter of respecting religious freedom, it is a question of denying reality.
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This arrogant, ignorant self righteous, self proclaimed man of God is a liar, a fraud and pretender. In other words, the Yuck is a typical politician. And it is The Yuck who has placed his religion on the table, using it as weapon in his political arsenal. Well, if he gets to use it, then so do I. I do not demean his faith. He demeans it. I am just pointing out how. As Yuck said himself, “Politics are totally directed by worldview. That's why when people say, 'We ought to separate politics from religion,' I say to separate the two is absolutely impossible" However, I guess, Yuck’s worldview can separate religion from ethics. The Yuck made Judicial Watch’s 10 Most Corrupt Politicians in America list. And one of The Yuck’s longest and best buds is political advisor Dick Morris (of toe sucking fame). TheYuck has been smart enough to keep his Dick zippered up; they are never seen together in public. But Dick has sung The Yuck’s praises in “The Hill” and on “Faux News”, and even The Yuck admits they share long and intimate late night telephone conversations. The Yuck described Morris, in a 1995 interview, as, “…a surgeon who can perform surgery on a 75 year old man in one room and a 21 year old woman in the next room. As long as he doesn’t get the patients confused there’s no problem.” Interesting choice of patients for The Yuck’s analogy, wouldn’t you say?
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Pulling aside the curtain a little further we find an even odder combination, the pairing, of ‘Tax Hike Mike’ with Newt “Big Baby Tax Cut” Gingrich. Yuck says, “The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was”, indicating his intention of making the legal definition of “love” as existing only between one man and one woman, which would mean, I would have supposed, that two of Newt’s wives and all of his mistresses were not only immoral but unconstitutional as well. But leave it to a politician-minister to justify his own sins while condemning everybody else’s.
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Yuck adheres to the theology of “biblical inerrancy”, the belief that not only is every word in the bible the perfect word of a perfect God and thus without error, but so was the decision to exclude the books of 1st and 2nd Maccabees, which are included in the Catholic bible. So Catholics are not part of Yuck’s perfect world. But does Yuck adhere to the Chicago Statement, or is he a King James Only, or a Textus Receptus believer? The profusion and confusion of Christian sects gets mighty convoluted when you start turning multi-translations of biblical texts into legal and constitutional minutia. But one thing should be unambiguous. Either The Yuck has a Bachelor’s degree in Divinity, as he has claimed, or he does not, as he now admits; but in either case he is a liar. And I have heard that God doesn’t like liars. Now, where did I hear that?
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This idiot compared his diet hunger pangs to starving to death in Dachau. He compared homosexuality to sex with animals, and he has repeatedly compared the mass murder of 6 million Jews to legal abortion. And of course, he hinted (wink, wink) that Mormons are devil worshipers. Yuck did not cut taxes in Arkansas, overall he raised them by $500 million. They were spent on desperately needed highway improvements, but the issue is not ‘did he do the right thing’, the issue is that he lied about it. In 2005 he called an Arkansas Senate bill that would have denied state benefits to illegal immigrants as “un-Christian and un-American, irresponsible and anti-life” It’s statements like that which might have made him a true “compassionate conservative”, but, of course, while pandering to the right wing nutcases in Iowa, Yuck denounced much of his earlier position. That’s the politician in him drowning out the minister at just the wrong moment.
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But it is The Yuck’s stand on Darwin that defines him as a member of the lunatic fringe, for me. The Theory of Evolution is not a theory as The Yuck uses the term; a supposition, an idea, a proposal to be debated. Gravity is a similar theory, but it is still suggested that you not jump off any buildings. Combustion is a Theory about some types of chemical interactions, but it is still suggested that you do not stick phosphorous in your mouth. In scientific terminology a Theory is an idea supported by evidence but which may not predict an outcome. A law, such as Newton’s Laws of Motion, allows mathematical predictability, and allows you to design rockets and airplanes and dams and electrical power plants. Evolution can also make predictions but never with mathematical certainty. And I suspect The Yuck knows the difference between a scientific law and a scientific theory. But the politician in him also knows that the average voter does not. And his lack of personal integrity allows him to take advantage of that.
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And that is why I detest this liar, this popinjay, this cheat and this fraud, Mike Huckabee.

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