I have begun to wonder just how we can end will the war in Iraqi. Senator McCain is insisting that out troops come home victorious, which sounds a little like the old U.S. Grant dictum, “No terms except unconditional and immediate surrender." Grant did demand those terms but when they were rejected he immediately modified them. But “Greatest Generation” still expects wars to end victoriously, like World War Two. But even WWII did not end in total victory as protrayed in campaign speeches. And over the next few columns I mean to tell you the truth about the how we ended the war against Japan.
To begin with, the Second World War in the Pacific should have ended on Sunday, July 9th, 1944. On that day, at 16:15 hours (4:15pm local time), Admiral Richmond J. Turner declared the island of Saipan secured. The battle was decisive. In defending Saipan the Japanese Imperial Fleet had lost its offensive arm in the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot, where three of their aircraft carriers were sunk and 600 aircraft and pilots were destroyed. The United States lost just 123 planes, and 80 of those experienced crews were rescued. On the ground 30,000 Japanese soldiers and 22,000 civilians had died for the emperor. The United States lost about 2,949 dead, and 10,364 wounded. And they took the island.
To begin with, the Second World War in the Pacific should have ended on Sunday, July 9th, 1944. On that day, at 16:15 hours (4:15pm local time), Admiral Richmond J. Turner declared the island of Saipan secured. The battle was decisive. In defending Saipan the Japanese Imperial Fleet had lost its offensive arm in the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot, where three of their aircraft carriers were sunk and 600 aircraft and pilots were destroyed. The United States lost just 123 planes, and 80 of those experienced crews were rescued. On the ground 30,000 Japanese soldiers and 22,000 civilians had died for the emperor. The United States lost about 2,949 dead, and 10,364 wounded. And they took the island. 
While some Japanese soldiers would hold out in the jungle on Siapan until December of 1945 they were no more than a minor annoyance. Even before Admiral Turner’s pronouncement, Construction Battalions (C.B.’s) had begun turning the island into the world’s largest aircraft carrier, from which, eventually, 2,000 B-29’s would turn Japanese factories and cities into torches. The loss of the their fleet air power and the Marianas, Saipan, Guam and Tinian, meant that the Japanese had lost the war.
The Japanese knew it. Prime Minister Hideki Tojo, the architect of the war with America, and his entire cabinet resigned, nine days after the fall of Saipan. But the war went on. It was clear to every American commander that the Japanese could not withstand the American onslaught, that at Siapan Japan had lost the war.
And reading the diaries and personal letters of Japanese commanders it is clear they also knew the war was lost. But Japanese leaders now held onto the idea that if they could bleed America enough, and kill enough Americans, in just one more big battle, they would win a more favorable peace from the Americans. And it was not a total fantasy. In conquering the Philippines the U.S. suffered 14,000 dead and 48,00 wounded, at Iwo Jima 8,621 dead and 19,189 wounded, and at Okinawa, on the threshold of Japan itself, America lost 12,513 dead and 38,513 wounded.
And while it is true that Japanese losses were even higher, (336,000 dead in the Philippines, 20,700 on Iwo, and 131,303 on Okinawa), those bloodbaths still drove the Japanese to make no attempt to even hint that they might be willing to negotiate a peace. The Americans were still advancing across the Pacific despite their losses, and had not modified their peace terms, laid out in the Potsdam Decree. Why shoulld they? Japan had offered no alternatives. In my personal estimation, Japan's silence and unwillingness to negotiate, given the strategy they were following, amounts to mass murder of their own citizens and soldiers and of the U.S. forces closing in on them, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of civilians from occupied nations caught between the avenging Americans and the silent fatalistic fanatics of Japan.
Next: Japan decides to end the war.
- 30 -
So in desperation I just went to the census page. Google the U.S. Census and I guarantee you will find enough numbers to prove damn near anything. 49.2% of all Americans are male and 50.8% are female and yet 61.3% admit to having worn a dress at lest once in the last two years. 
But then a new problem arose: out of those 76 million Americans nearly 10% were annoying, and that was up from just 8.3% in 1860. By 1950 our population had topped 152 million, and over 20% were annoying, with 6% qualifying as “Very Annoying”. The trend has continued to worsen. In 1990, out of 250 million people total, “Very Annoying” had reached 6% and “Simply Annoying” was approaching 16%, and, in a truly disturbing sign, 3.1% had achieved the new level of “if she doesn’t shut up I’m going to shoot myself!”
In 1900 only 3% of American homes had electricity, and only one third had running water. So the chances of being electrocuted in the shower in 1900 were very low. Today the average American spends ten minutes every day in the shower. Not only was the denizen of 1900 less likely to be electrocuted, but they had an extra 70 minutes every week to waste at the computer. 
According to one new book the average American lives within twenty minutes of a WalMart. For some reason I find that factoid really depressing.
The average American buys 800 gallons of gasoline a year, or did we did when we were complaining about $1.80 a gallon gasoline. At $4.00 a gallon we are putting less gas in our tanks but complaining more. The United States has 116,855 gas stations, or about one gas station for every 2,500 people. Almost a million people work at gas stations, but the average income of a gas station employee is just $16,449.00 a year, or about $12,000 a year less than the “average” American makes. This helps explain why Exxon Mobil made $40 billion in profit last year, and Chevron made $19 Billion. Clearly, when dealing with addictive substances like heroin or oil, the higher up the chain of distribution you are the more money you get to keep and the less often you get arrested.
So, after all of this research, I can now say two things about the average American. First, anybody who plays state lotteries knows nothing about mathematics. And the average American knows nothing about mathematics. Or Chemistry. Or Sociology. Or spelling. And the second thing was said by H.L. Menken almost a century ago: "The truth, to the overwhelming majority of mankind, is indistinguishable from a headache. After trying a few shots of it on his customers, the larval statesman concludes sadly that it must hurt them, and after that he taps a more humane keg, and in a little while the whole audience is singing ‘Glory, glory, hallelujah,’ and when the returns come in the candidate is on his way to the White House." 
